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Thought you might like this..an oldie but a goodie...
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain
your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw
print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it
becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing
in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing
me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure
your comfort. However, dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball
when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each
other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that
sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other
end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by
some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw
under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the
same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -
canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other
dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Any cat and dog owners can relate to this I'm sure.
Love and Hugs